how was your day?

how does your day end and start?

mine starts at 5 am
my phone rings to remind me to wake up
i turn it off, sleep a little more
stand up to heat water
lie down again
finally standing up to take a bath
after the morning rituals of dressing up, make up and such
i'm off to school

all the while i am thinking of the things
i have to do
and
want to do

in school, i eat bfast with friends
do some of the things on my list
think of other things i have forgotten
to include on my list
attend a meeting
or
have an extention class
or
have a club meeting

all the while, planning
what to teach my class next
what activity sheets to do
what visual aids to prepare

my junior prep class starts
i teach
i see things i need to do
and i write it down
classes ends
i kiss my students goodbye
and head of to the faculty room

all the while, memorizing my new list

i rest for a while
work a little
think more
write more
think some more
head for home

all the while, reviewing what i have memorized

i come home
tired
drained
pressured

and still
my list is long
accomplishments none

will this be by routine for the rest of my life?

i wonder if some people do the same things i do
think and think and think

i wonder if there will come a time that i get to limit my list finally
to get to focus on one or even two things only

i wonder if i would ever get to simply relax when i am home
to even enjoy a movie after work like we used to do
to hang out with friends and drink coffee


included in my plans is to talk to my collegues
and try to have a system to limit our cramming days
and stress
and somehow it dawned to me
that they may not even feel the way i feel
that maybe i simply
think too much
expect too much
want too much

or

it's really that
i have
tons
and
tons
of
things
to
do!