i found a rosary today

while walking in taft avenue this morning i saw a rosary on the floor.
i was suddenly in a delema..
should i pick it up
or should i go on my way and completely forget about that rosary.
would you believe i stood at that island for about 5 minutes thinking about this!
i thought well if that be a 20 peso or even 10 peso coin i would surely not hesitate to pick it up. as they say, coins picked up in sidewalks etc are lucky.

just as suddenly, i picked up the rosary and placed it firmly in my pocket.
come to thing of it having a rosary would not only bring me luck but closer to God.
is this a sign Lord that i have to enter the convent? LOL
i actually took it as a sign that God is calling me back to him..
with my limited time and jumbled thoughts
i am not able to say even a small prayer of anything!
no Lord thank you,
no Lord please
no nothing

and now i feel guilty
the Lord has blessed me with so many things
he has given me good health
a beautiful family
a good job
everything i have always wanted and needed
and i say nothing

worst i do not even take care of the things He has given me
i have not taken care of my health for the longest time
taking my young for granted
i eat whatever, do whatever

i have not seen my family for more than 2 weeks now
i don't call
i don't text (although i wanted to)

i am all work lately
and i still feel i need to do more in this area..

i don't want to be like this forever
putting God at the back seat
i wanted to be close to Him again
but the more i push myself
the more i lose

often i tell bernard to take it slow
maybe this time i have to follow my own advise
taking things slow

i believe..